Did the inclusion of “men” in the title of this post surprise you?
Just for a moment, think about how you might feel if a male employee or colleague told you about his recent traumatic birthing experience.
It’s possible that you’d feel tempted to scoff, even if only inside, at the very idea of a man talking about postpartum depression. Men are lucky, you might think, because they don’t have to endure the painful process of actually giving birth.
So really, what have they got to complain about? Shouldn’t they just focus on supporting their partner and child?
But according to PTSD UK, as many as 5% of birthing partners develop trauma symptoms after watching their child enter the world.
As a guide to the scope of the issue, 2021 census data shows that there were 625,008 live births in England and Wales. This means more than 31,000 fathers could have been impacted in that year alone.
In the old days, expectant fathers were relegated to the hospital waiting-room as their partners got on with the messy business of giving birth.
But those days are long gone. In the UK, 98% of partners now attend the birth of their child. Many complications can occur in a typical delivery room, including emergency caesareans, haemorrhages, and prolonged, painful labour. And as you might imagine, witnessing these often frightening complications up close, whilst feeling completely powerless to help, can induce traumatic after-effects.
Since health resources are focused on the person giving birth, their partners can be overlooked and kept in the dark as to what’s going on. We have heard many new fathers recount later on that, at the time, they feared losing both their new baby and the person they love.
“My wife was so high on pain relief throughout the entire birth, that she has no memory of it at all. But I remember every terrifying second.”
(Anonymous male employee, referred to Beyond EAP for support)
At Beyond EAP, we are receiving more and more referrals of male employees who have been through a traumatic birthing experience. Yet worryingly, few go on to accept the personalised support we offer.
As PTSD UK point out: “Often there is the mindset of ‘pull yourself together and care for your partner and child’. (But) talking about PTSD and other mental health illnesses is a big way of breaking down the taboo surrounding these conditions, and also a way of showing that it is normal to feel such emotions after a traumatic life event.”
An investigation by Men’s Health magazine concluded that one in 10 men experience anxiety and depression symptoms in the first six months after the birth of their babies.
Men are also 21 times more likely to present a suicide risk during the postpartum period. As suicide is already the biggest killer in men under 50, it’s clear that this is a problem we all need to take seriously.
Not to mention that talking about our feelings and seeking the right postpartum support – whether we’re male or female – sets a wonderful example for those children who have only just entered the world.
Beyond EAP is here to help.
Our services go beyond the confines of the traditional Employee Assistance Programme, to provide bespoke, non-judgmental employee support for life’s toughest challenges.
If you would like to discuss the subject of male postpartum trauma and depression in confidence, or are worried about a particular employee, please get in touch.